"Yard Sale Slut" Soon To Be a Major Netflix Film!

 

You can get the original novel here!

 

I've had to keep this under wraps for a while, but my agent, Pauline Perell, has called and I'm free to Tell All: my novel "Yard Sale Slut" will be made into a major motion picture to be aired on Netflix this fall. It's set in the near future, and is the story of Moira, once a promising student, who loses everything and is drugged, sold into slavery, stripped, bound, gagged, raped, lesbian gang raped, whipped, whored out and then suffered the most horrible humiliation of all: sold on the cheap at a yard sale to a sex slave tavern owner.

I don't think I'll be surprising anyone when I tell you that there was a huge bidding war on the story between Lifetime Channel and Netflix. The amount of pathos and bathos here is unbelievable. I didn't even believe it myself when I wrote it! So the seven figure check they're cutting me makes sense, Hollywood sense anyway.

Of course Neflix is asking for a few minor changes in the story to make it more acceptable to a mainstream audiences. Minor stuff, really. The rape and sex slavery themes, they feel, are a little much. Or as Netflix director Wilson Pluckett told me, "Look I get that 'Yard Sale Slut' is a dark, edgy, erotic, kinky satirical critique of capitalism gone zonkers, but we were thinking of taking it more in the direction of a lighthearted rom-com. And you can't have actual rape and sex slavery in lighthearted rom-com, it's just too heavy. So we were thinking of throwing out the slavers altogether. Instead we're thinking of having the female MC bought as a "slave" at one of those charity yard sales they have, by the male MC. Be a good vehicle for Freddie Prinze and Jessica Alba, you know."

"If you wanted a lighthearted rom-com, you could have optioned How My Slavegirl Found Me it's an actual lighthearted rom-com," I pointed out. 

"And we may just do that down the road," said Pluckett. "But for now everyone is sold on "Yard Sale Slut" except for the title. The working title is now "Yard Sale Bargain Romance" to give you some idea. But otherwise it's exactly the same story. The male MC is still a politico, only now he's a candidate for US Senator from New York. And there'll be all sorts of raised eyebrows and media interest in the Senatorial candidate buying a slavegirl, you know, even if it's only a pretendy slavegirl. Mucho boffo humor here."

"Oh, I could see that working very well with a sexual relationship where she's his sexy slavegirl and he's her dominating master, all very consensual of course," I said. "Plenty of chances for double entendre."

"Well, about that," said Pluckett. "We find our rom-coms work much better in foreign markets without any sex. Or nudity. Maybe a chaste kiss at the end, maybe a bared shoulder or two. But no sex at all, especially no kinky sex."

"I'm surprised you left in the romance and the comedy," I observed, catching the way the wind was blowing.

"Well there won't be much of either, to be honest," said Plunkett. "Actual romance and humor are difficult and dangerous. We're looking for a script that is only in the vicinity of funny, and which keeps the romance down to knowing looks and raised eyebrows. We just want to leave audiences with a general impression that nice people had fun after encountering some mild difficulties, which is really what your story is all about, when you think about it."

"Of course it is," I lied. "And of course there's all those checks I'll be getting based on net profits to help soothe my conscience."

"Exactly!" lied Pluckett. "I knew we could come to a meeting of the minds on this!"

NOTE: Post meeting, I've been informed that the story will now be set in Ukraine and will involve a giant time-traveling spider. Plot twist: the spider is the nicest character in the film!

P.S. "Yard Sale Slut" is one of the three stories included in my Three Tavern Sluts collection found here. And extra buck goes a long way on Smashwords.

"How My Slave Girl Found Me" -- Brand New Novella, Now on Amazon and Smashwords.

 Here's the Amazon Link for the book. 

Here's the Smashwords Link. A 22,000+ word novella for just $2.99.

I'm releasing this one on both Amazon and Smashwords at the same time, a new approach for me. Normally I've been going with Kindle Unlimited on Amazon, which gets me paid for page reads by Kindle Unlimited subscribers, but at the cost of publishing ONLY on Amazon for at least three months. But I haven't seen that much action from Kindle Unlimited, and I've seen a lot of action on Smashwords, so I'm "going wide" as publishers call it.

 This is one of those stories that was inspired by a picture. This picture. (Link is VERY NSFW, do not click if you are somewhere where nudity is not acceptable.)

 And you have to admit, that’s one hell of a picture. Just look at the expression on the woman’s face, combined with the raw carnality of her ass and the glamorous modern beauty with which she presents herself.

But mostly, it’s that expression. Here’s how I wrote it up in the novel (it’s not a key scene, no real spoiler here):

>It was the combination of the raw sexuality of her pink pussy display and the totally relaxed, confident, unashamed expression on her face that worked away at my mind. Finally, later that night when I sat at home staring at my computer screen, unable to write because I couldn’t think of anything else but that vision, I finally got it.

>I’d gotten the look on her face all wrong. I had mistaken it for some kind of animalistic reserve, some rare sense of herself that others didn’t possess. That wasn’t it, that wasn’t it at all. I mean, she really did not have a single fuck to give, that was true. But that was because she’d given all her fucks to Michael, literally. She was his creature. As long as she was doing what Michael wanted her to, she was doing the right thing. Always. She had no inhibitions, no doubts, no worries. Those all belonged to Michael now. She hadn’t mastered herself, she’d given herself away.

>And as the Buddha observed, those who escape the burden of self find Nirvana. Her expression, her indefinable way of carrying herself that hinted at incredible peace and tranquility, was the expression of someone who had found Nirvana, looking out at the world. People might call it self-possession, but what it actually was was other-possession. She had given herself to Michael. Literally, and what was left was a creature that utterly lived by Michael’s rules, and thrived that way.

That’s a lot to pin on an expression in a photograph, but that’s the writing game for ya.

Heeere's da blurb:

When I assumed that a woman co-worker who wore bondage jewelry all the time was a submissive and into bondage, I made a mistake. The result was a date that didn't turn out as I had hoped. But as a direct result of that mistake I met Sabrina Parker, another co-worker who was a world-class beauty with what I called ‘the Nirvana look’ to her. Thanks to my friendship with Sabrina, I soon experienced the night of my life, a night filled with kinky public sex and fun and play in a BDSM orgy that went beyond even my wildest fantasies.

And I met the woman of my dreams that night as well. I was her tall drink of water, she was my wonderful thing that came in a small package. It was truly a night that turned into a lifetime.

Sometimes a mistake can be more rewarding than success.

This novella is a kinky contemporary erotic romance that includes an HEA, a dominant alpha male, a bevy of submissive beauties, public bondage, nudity and sex, and more fun than you can (or should) shake a stick at. It’s over 22,000 words long and full of maledom/femsub fun.

Slave Girls Of Outer Space Part 1 Free On Smashwords

  Just a reminder, this is a fun sexy science fiction novella, free to all on Smashwords. It's my way to rewrite everything that follows the first 15 minutes or so of the movie "Slave Girls Beyond Infinity" so that it's not a piece of garbage like the rest of the movie is. 

Here's the link!

And here's the cover:

Office Slave Now On Smashwords for $1.99

  

Get it by clicking on this link!

It's a fun little novelette about how office work will proceed in the future of tomorrow! Da blurb:

It's the future. Robots have taken almost all of the jobs and most people live on Basic Income. They do not work, and their lives are an endless party, or an endless pursuit of their dreams, hobbies and ambitions. Nobody has to do anything just to survive.

Still, some corporations do need at least a few human beings to work for them, if only to provide human input on their products and services. Thunder Muffin Corporation is one such corporation. So how does a corporation attract human beings away from their endless parties and make them care about the WEINUS? Or the VEINUS? Or the heinous ANNUS?

By making work MORE FUN than FUN, that's how. And that's why Jenny became a corporate slave girl for Thunder Muffin Corporation, the lowest, humblest job the corporation had to offer. But if you think being a corporate slave girl is endless drudgery, that's where you're wrong. Drudgery is for robots! Slave girls are for kinky sex and bondage games, an important part of keeping any corporation humming along smoothly. Jenny will discover how much fun there is to be had in breakrooms, in hallways, in deserted meeting rooms, and in crowded workrooms, including but not limited to the slavegirl bouncy ball bondage race! Plus a mysterious message, corporate insider info and skullduggery, and a heaping helping of BDSM games!

If you're up for some upbeat, sexy BDSM fun, set your brain on robot cruise control and enjoy this ride.

This novelette is just over 15,500 words long and is part of the Basic Income universe.

The Visitor to Incel World Is Now Free On Amazon Through May 15

Get It For Free At This Link

It's an alternate world science fiction novel, I'm making it a free promo for a few days, hopefully it will draw readers to the sequel, "The Love Invasion" in which one alternate world attempts to stave off war with another. Here's da blurb on "The Visitor From Incel World:"

Ariana Heppelwhite was a promising Gender Studies grad student at Lacy Swanson College for Women in Bayport, Massachusetts. She had actually written a paper describing three hitherto unknown forms of nanoaggression! She was on track for getting a professorship and a actual job with a real salary and all the perks, maybe even tenure eventually.

Ariana had even met an unexpectedly charming incel (a phrase she had never expected to think, much less say) while doing research on incels for a grant she had. Sure, she'd done some nasty academic infighting that had an athletic department coach looking for her scalp over a transmale gaze incident, but overall, things were coming up roses for Ariana.

Then it happened. Ariana got caught in a freak physics accident while running from the gym coach, and was transported to an alternate world. And it was the exact WRONG world for a Gender Studies feminist to be transported to. It was full of women who walked around naked in public and wore collars engraved with “Property of (their significant other)” and who LOVED their collars -- and who seemed to think Ariana was a barbarian from a violent place.

And the thing was, they were all nice people, and calm people, and they just might be right about Ariana. Even more of a thing was that some not-so-nice Collar Land people thought Ariana's world represented such a threat that they should kill her for security reasons.

Will Ariana ever make it back to good old Earth from Collar Land? Will she learn to adjust to these very strange people or will she subvert their entire society? Will the not-nice people kill her? And what about that unexpectedly charming incel?

All these questions and more will be answered -- all you have to do is read this topnotch science fiction comedy!

Mall of Shame: It’s Sexual Bondage Porn! No, It’s Socialist Propaganda! Stop Arguing You Two – It’s BOTH!

 In my previous post I told you that Mall of Shame is almost entirely sexual bondage porn – and I was right, it is! That’s what makes it such GOOD socialist propaganda. Good propaganda isn’t noticeable, it hovers in the background, unnoticed while it weaves its magic.

For example, I was five or six books into E.M. Foner’s Union Station series before I realized I was reading pure-dee libertarian propaganda disguised as humorous light space opera. I only figured it out when I was brought up short one day by realizing what an utterly miserable life one of the minor characters must be leading, a life of unceasing toil at a dull job he had little interest in, with almost no reward for his toil other than the very barest necessities of life. It wasn’t slavery, but it was close enough for all practical purposes. And it was presented as just a normal thing. This wasn’t SUPPOSED to be a horrible fate, it was this guy’s big opportunity. Of course, things go very well for the guy later in the story but with a very subtle change his story could have been a living hell.

So I did Foner a favor and satirized “Date Night on Union Station” with a story that pointed out the hellishness of a libertarian system in Late Nights On Onion Station which, frankly, is a very ham-handed story that clubs you over the head REALLY HARD with how rotten things are on Union/Onion Station. But hey, that’s parody for ya. It’s not intended to be propaganda.

SPOILERS BE HERE! YAR!!!!

So, I’m going to go into detail on how I injected socialist propaganda into “Mall of Shame” with descriptions of specific scenes and so forth. It will give away plot points, but given that the story is hardcore erotica (or “porn” as it’s also called) it might not matter much to you. Your call whether or not you continue. You have been warned!

One of the themes I wanted to work with was the alienation that capitalism imposes on human beings. There’s a scene early on in the story where Karen notices that the shopgirl’s tone with her has become polite but distant, she is no longer friendly. This sends a chill up Karen’s spine: she recognizes that tone, she has used it herself in her works as a human resources manager. It’s the tone you use to calm an employee whom you are going to have to fuck over in some way. When you hear someone using it, you should be very, very alert.

The shopgirl because of her job in her capitalist business, has to alienate herself from Karen, because she’s “making a scene.” Karen needs help at this moment, but she will have none, because she’s in a mall, the very belly of the capitalist beast, and the only thing that matters in a mall is if you have money to buy the goods and services on sale. The natural impulse to help Karen is alienated, replaced by a responsibility to take care of the business imposed by management, which is why the sales clerk summons the mall cops.

I don’t spell any of this out in the story of course. That would be clumsy, club-you-over-the-head propagandizing. Some writers are clumsy and can’t help such writing, more often, they feel that their Message is Too Important to be rendered subtly, so out comes the Reader Club. This is always a bad idea.  People don’t like being clubbed over the head like baby seals, even with ideas!

 In the story we just note the chill Karen feels when she hears the shopgirl’s tone. Karen ignores it, she is too caught up in her reversal of fortune to realize she should back out of the situation quickly and quietly. 

Karen also ignores the feeling however, because for most of her life she has been a member in good standing of the Professional Managerial Class (PMC) which typically includes doctors, lawyers, corporate managers, academics, etc. She’s a Human Resources Manager for a mid-sized corporation, her husband is a tenured professor at a small college. 

And the girl who’s telling her she can’t have the bottle of “Joy of Ecstasy” perfume that she wants is a shopgirl, someone lower than her on the capitalist totem pole: let’s face it, a prole (proleterian). The shopgirl also has brown skin, so there might be some racism in there, too. But Karen would probably ignore a white shopgirl, too. Karen is alienated from the shopgirl and can’t “hear” her because she belongs to a different class than her, so she doesn’t catch the cue that she’s giving Karen that the boom is going to be lowered if she continues to act out.

In any event Karen can’t help acting out, her world is collapsing on her. Specifically, she gets bad news from her husband when her card is declined: he has been laid off -- his tenure turns out to have had limitations (part of the belt-tightening in academia imposed by capitalism). 

Karen herself is currently unemployed but she thought herself secure, that they could easily survive on her husband’s salary indefinitely, and he was tenured! Also, Karen is sure she will be rehired by her old firm soon, they hinted at that when they laid her off. This is just the sort of lie that she as a human resources manager has told employees when they got laid off, but she doesn’t recognize it as a lie when it is told to her.

That’s because she’s a meritocrat, a creature of capitalism’s class structure. She feels that she and her husband have gotten ahead through hard work and skill and that because of that they live by different rules than other, lesser beings (proles).  Meritocrats are deeply alienated not just from the proletariat, but from one another and themselves.

Karen in fact arrives at her situation precisely because of the effects her job has had on her personality. She’s a terror, a ruthless and successful corporate climber. Nobody dares to cross her. She wasn’t laid off because of incompetence, she was just what the top managers wanted in a human resources manager, a ruthless force. Her job was simply automated out of existence, as Artificial Intelligence made further inroads into mid-level management. If they had needed a human mid-level human resources manager at all, they would have kept her.

Like most meritocrats, Karen never believed she could lose her job to automation. She was so wrong.

And the ruthlessness and general “Karen-ness” that made her so successful carried over into her marriage. Her husband had not told her about his job loss because he was terrified to do so. The bad investment that sealed their financial doom was a desperate attempt on his part to restore their fortunes without Karen ever finding out about it. Desperation created by fear.

And that’s how Karen found out about her economic woes so suddenly, and so unfortunately, when her credit card is declined.

When the financial rug is pulled out from under Karen, she panics. The shoplifting isn’t a product of necessity or anything like it. She doesn’t need a $600 bottle of perfume in any real sense. But what Karen desperately needs is to be the sort of woman who can afford a $600 bottle of perfume. And what she finds out from her husband is that she is not that. THAT’S why she is so insanely intent on getting that perfume. It represents her still being a PMC member of the bourgeosie. And she is DESPERATE for that.

This being a mall, Karen can get herself out of trouble just by coming up with the money for the perfume. But her husband can’t do that for her, he has emptied all their accounts to maintain his deception and make his very bad investment. The Punishment Pit being so final in nature, the mall cops know she’s dead broke because if she had ANY financial resources, she would have used them.

(Karen is the least likable character I’ve ever created, but she and her husbands are victims of capitalism, too. They’re just utterly incapable of understanding it at present.)

Karen’s poverty is why the mall cops feel safe in manhandling Karen and dragging her off to the Security station to be tried by the mall arbitrator. Which given all the security cams, is a VERY pro forma process, and Karen is found guilty in minutes.

Then she’s processed: stripped, bound, fitted with a shock device and a dildo wand, and set out for public viewing. Now that’s she a poor person, she’s just so much meat for the machine.

Of course all of this social analysis does not show up in the story, it would stop it cold like a pig in a python. It’s the underpinnings to the story, which is pure porn on the surface. Which makes it more effective as propaganda as readers aren’t aware of the hidden structure of capitalist alienation that feeds the story, disguised as an excuse for nonconsensual kinky sex displays in a mall.

And of course when the action of the story really gets going we move way beyond what’s currently acceptable in terms of public nudity and sex, especially in malls. I explain it away as a program needed because actual jails are full of criminals who are killing people and blowing people up for revolutionary reasons. (The proles are getting restless!) But it’s actually because this is hardcore erotica, dammit. Gotta provide those kinky thrills to the readers!

Plus it’s fun to violate the upper middle class norms that govern malls so very, very thoroughly in my story. And it’s important to enjoy one’s work. And it’s important for one’s READERS to enjoy one’s work.

"Always Pay Your Parking Tickets On Pluterday, Now Available On Amazon

You can buy the story here!

"Always Pay Your Parking Tickets on Pluterday" is one of those stories that just comes out of nowhere. Well, not TOTALLY out of nowhere, it came out of somewhere, specifically, this image.

I knew there was a story in that image SOMEWHERE, I just didn't know what it was. There was just something about the totally hapless expression on the woman's face that just cracked me up. “Oh, well, I'm being fucked by the person in the leather suit bot in my pussy and my mouth at the same time AGAIN.”

So I just decided, what the hell, I'll pants it. Just sit down and write whatever my subconscious comes up with. Every so often when I do this it feels like someone is in my subconscious telling me a story. This is not the norm.

Most of the time, the voices of my characters are careful constructs. I've detailed before how I use the voices of comedians like Bill Burr (who, in my mind, voiced a character in The Visitor from Incel World or characters from stories whom you might not expect to find in erotica and who've been through some major changes (like Nitro Wilde and Moxie Maven in The Love Invasion who are, respectively, a female asexual genius private eye and a sexy slavegirl private eye who assists her, and who are based, respectively, on Nero Wolfe and Archie Goodwin). Most of the time I use them for the “voice” of the character, the way they express themselves (though Wilde and Maven are more like fun-house caricatures of Wolfe and Goodwin).

But this was not a constructed character, I did no planning at all. This gleeful, perverted motormouth started up and told the story and all I had to do was write it down.

Really, “Always Pay Your Parking Tickets on Pluterday” has stuff I have never done before. It has, for example, a twisty plot. I generally have plots in my stories, but they're not TWISTY because what's happening in the story is generally far out enough that playing games with it is just gilding the lily.

Also, this is my first gonzo bizarre humor story. I use humor in all my stories, to one degree an another, and in various ways. For example, Princess Slave Girl of Bal-Marduk is a straight-up parody of the primeval insanity that was the Bronze Age, whereas The Adventures of Jenkie Jenkins, Interstellar Sex Reporter is a the old “virginal prude is forced to encounter extreme sexual depravity a lot” story ramped up to infinity and beyond as future technology takes depravity to new extremes.

Even relatively serious stories like Stolen Collar, Stolen Heart which is basically a young adult contemporary romance set on an alternate world where everyone is kinky, had a lot of parodies of Earth customs, such as dating for young adults being replaced by kidnapping and collaring.

But I've never done bizarre (aka bizarro, aka gonzo) humor before. I hadn't realized I was writing it until after I finished the story. I think you'll get a feel for the tone of the story by comparing three things: the photo that I said this story was inspired by, the “Parks & Recreation” TV series which I was binge-watching while I wrote this and [the cover seen below from the book Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes”:

They all combined in my subconscious somehow to create the story I wrote.  And though I can't tell you plot details, I can tell you this: hang on, you're in for a wild ride!

This story is over 7,100 words long and is the third story in the “So This Is My Life Now” series.

"Earth: The Love Invasion" Now Available on Amazon

Link to "Earth: The Love Invasion"

(Barry Anderson is a pen name I use to write non-erotic science fiction so as not to disappoint my erotica readers. I want to disappoint a NEW group of readers, thankyewverymuch. Not that everybody won't enjoy this book!)

“Earth: The Love Invasion” is a sequel to “The Visitor From Incel World” but can easily be read as a standalone as it has just two characters carried forward from the previous book, neither of whom is the main character in either book. (Doctor Tammy Frisbie and CIA Agent June Smoringe, for the record.)

What I wanted to do in “Love Invasion” is create a modern update on the pulpy SF alien invasion stories of the 1950s and 60s. You can't really recreate those stories, because they had the cultural energy caused by the Cold War and the McCarthyite Red Scare going to add depth and scariness to the stories. (With Red Scare, we're talking about the 1950s-60s era of politically and culturally conservative hysteria about secret communist spies everywhere, not the podcast, an entirely different thing.)

But right now we have another source of energy to drive the story, as the world slides into Crapsack World status thanks to the inspired leadership of the United States of America. And as I wrote the story, I tried to keep in mind the horrified expression a peaceful human race that has conquered violence and aggression would have as they looked at the prospect of visitors from our wonderful, wonderful world.

And although “Love Invasion” isn't erotica, it's still deals with a world of kinky people. Although there are no explicit sex scenes, there are sex scenes, mostly played for laughs. Kinky fun will be had, just not explicit kinky fun.

And the kink theme of Collar World gives me an excellent change to present vanilla sexuality from a kinkster's view, except of course the Collar World kinksters are not aware of themselves as kinksters, coming from a world of kinksters. They just think the vanilla folks of Earth are kind of strange, violent, twisted and very bad at sex.

I spent a lot of time figuratively rubbing my hands with glee as I wrote this story, yes I did. (I couldn't literally rub my hands with glee because I needed them for typing.) I hope readers will enjoy “Earth: The Love Invasion” as much as I have.

Star Treque: Attack of the Kinky Slave Girls! -- An Erotic Parody (Collar World Book 6) Now On Amazon

Amazon Link

International Bookstore Link

I enjoyed parodying "Late Night On Onion Station" so I thought I'd give parody another shot, this time a SLIGHTLY better-known property, "Star Trek." I'm a fan, watched TOS, the Next Generation and some episode of Voyager and Enterprise, as well as all of the movies. I even married a woman who went to Dragoncon wearing a tribble suit. I didn't marry her FOR that reason, but it should be noted that it didn't deter me in the slightest, in fact, it was cool to me.

So I felt fully qualified to parody Star Trek. I decided to base my parody on TOS, because let's face it, there's a LOT of room for parody there. Most especially sexual parody, since The Original Series was an unreconstructed product of the sixties, with Captain Kirk jumping on any green-skinned alien woman he can find and Lt. Baskethead (I mean, Rand) sexing up the show for no particular reason, a task soon taken over by Nichelle Nichols.

I didn't entirely confine myself to TOS characters, I included Lieutenant Worf (Lt. Rorf Woof in my story) from Next Generation mainly because I was going to have Klingons, too, and he would come in handy for several reasons.

For the same reason, I had an Orion slave girl ("Aurion" in my story) as a cultural attache on the crew, helping integrate the Orions into the Federation, or as I called it, the Agglomeration. Encountering the Empire of the Collar (essentially, Collar World in space with gigantic men, because why the hell not?) the Participation Prize crew would naturally call on an Aurion slave girl for advice on how to deal with such a sexy menace.

Especially since the Empire of the Collar is technologically far in advance of both the Agglomeration and the Klingons (“Klaxons” in my story). It would have made an interesting story for Star Trek, except of course that Star Trek would never have been sex-positive and kink-positive.

And of course, being an erotic parody I was free to follow the sexiest, kinkiest elements of the story as far as I wanted to, which was very far, indeed. And I did not neglect the humor either, I had a LOT of fun with story and characters.

It's a shame media Trek could never follow where I have gone before. I've been to science fiction conventions, I've SEEN what the fan base gets up to, left on their own. They would have loved it. In the meantime, there's my parody, I'm hoping fans will love it. Maybe you will, too. Either way, live long and pump her.

Why Did I Write A Parody of the EarthCent Ambassador Series?

So, my new novelette, "Late Nights At Onion Station" is a parody of the EarthCent Ambassador series by I.M. Foner.

I have not done any parodies before, though it's very clear I like humor and I read a LOT. Almost all of my stories have been completely original works, no fannish stuff among them. I have my own stories to tell, thankyewverymuch, and although I've taken some humorous jabs at this and that, I've never outright parodied anything.

And like most parodists, I'm a fan of what I'm parodying. I've read and enjoyed the entire EarthCent Ambassador series. But the definition of “parody” explains why I did it: “a parody targets or mimics an original work to make a point.” And I wrote “Late Nights At Onion Station” to make a point about something that bothered me about the original work: its libertarianism. I'm more of a socialist.

The libertarianism in the Earthcent Ambassador series is very subtle, well buried in the story. But once you see it, you can't unsee it: the EarthCent Ambassador series is a pure libertarian fantasy at heart. There are little clues: the protagonist, despite being the chief representative of humans on Union Station, is paid very little money, so little that she lives in a slummy area of the human sector of Union Station and has to save up money to buy a comfy chair.

Why is she paid so little despite her important government position? Because she's a government official, of course, and government is not important in libertarian fantasy land. While the protagonist of Union Station makes so little money that the food at diplomatic receptions is an important part of her diet, all her friends and acquaintances who are independent businesspeople make huge amounts of money from their activities. They can't do anything at all without making huge piles of money. Because they're independent entrepreneurs, you see: the good guys.

As a socialist, this was annoying, but what was REALLY annoying was the usual libertarian obliviousness to the fate of those who don't work out well in his paradise. This is in fact my major problem with libertarianism in general: their focus is always on those who succeed in libertarian society, with a general feeling that almost anyone can succeed if you put forth a little effort, gosh darn it!

Most libertarians, in fact, have little or no interest in what happens to those who don't do well in their libertarian fantasy. Often you get a sense that they would be fine with people who aren't good bargainers in the free and open markets starving to death and dying, that they would happily kick their bodies aside on their way to the bank.

You can see this by the way libertarian authors focus on the successes in their stories and ignore the losers. The successful entrepreneurs who make scads of money and get loads of power in their lives are the FUN part of the libertarian fantasy. Of course that's who gets all the attention in a libertarian story.

But if you don't pay attention to what happens to all the other people in your society, you're basically building a hell on Earth, and honestly, that's what I think most libertarians are doing. They don't WANT to create a hell on Earth, any more than the original Communists wanted to create the Soviet Union from Imperial Russia, but as the Soviet Union demonstrated (and China) if you're at all sloppy in thinking about how you get to your paradise, you can so very, very easily wind up with a dictatorship or an oligarchy that commits crimes against humanity without so much as blinking.

And libertarians are even worse than Communists in this respect. They really, really don't want to deal seriously with the hard part of their fantasy, which is how do you handle the people who don't do so well in the free and open marketplace? The phrase “ideological blinders” was invented for this phenomenon. Libertarians are like architects who want to build a skyscraper that will truly scrape the clouds, but have little or no interest in building a solid foundation.

The problem is, when you look at any group of human beings statistically, for almost any set of abilities and skills, including success in business, if you graph the results it forms a bell curve, with the bulk of people falling in the middle of the curve, and a considerable portion (half, even!) falling on the wrong side of the halfway mark. That being the case, you need to ensure that your system, whatever it is, provides a decent standard of living to the people who fall on that wrong side, not just the lucky winners.

Just assuming that everyone will magically be above average in a libertarian scheme is ridiculous, but a lot of libertarians do just that.

I think the reason that libertarians aren't willing to address the “ground floor” issues is that it may require making an exception to their rule that every problem can be solved by the invisible hand of an unfettered marketplace.

It might require some crude actions like taxing the very rich and successful (the beneficiaries of the invisible hand) at higher rates to fund housing, food and medical care for the poor. It might require, in short, some form of socialism.

It's time to call the belief that the invisible hand of the marketplace can solve all social problems and allow people to live free of government of any kind what it is: magical thinking.

And that's what really bugs me about libertarians, that they let this magical thinking fuck them up time and time again, because you know, if they took the time and effort to work out how a libertarian society could help the losers in the marketplace, they might just have a robust ideology that could compete successfully with democratic socialism.

But they can't, they won't and they don't, and so they remain a fringe, though a markedly more successful fringe than their ideology deserves, because many parts of it (the economic parts) dovetail very nicely with traditional conservatism.

And so you have many, many science fiction books written with this profoundly dumb, magical thinking, wish fulfillment hoo-ha presented as a wonderful basis for a society to exist on.

I found a very nice way to dramatize the problems with libertarianism in the story. I also manage to point out how adherence to libertarian principles makes one inherently blind to the suffering of others. And I ramped it all up to 11, to make it funny. And by damn, it IS funny. Some of the best humor comes from annoyance. I hope you enjoy it.

Creating the Cover For "Tiny, Big" -- Yes, you, too, can create bad cover art

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

"Tiny, Big" An Erotic Fantasy Novella, Is Available on Amazon

(All the links in this post are NSFW to one degree or another. Don't say you weren't warned.)

International Bookstore link to “Tiny, Big”

Amazon Bookstore link to “Tiny, Big”

I'm very proud of the opening line to my new novella “Tiny, Big.” It is “Why would I want my arms and legs cut off? That seems a bit extreme even for me.”

If that doesn't make you want to turn the page, nothing will.

Never fear gentle reader no legs and arms were harmed and the creation of the story. As is often the case with all great works of literature this story was inspired by a porn photo. You can see the photo by following this link. The actresses involved are 5 foot tall Penny Pax and 5 foot 11 inch Dylan Ryan. The image is clearly created to appeal to fans of lesbian macrophilia and microphilia, along with fans of lesbian bondage, lesbian sex, and general perversion.

(Sound of a record scratch)

Wait … what? “What are macrophilia and microphilia?” you almost certainly may ask.

Macrophilia is being sexually attracted to someone who is very tall. Microphilia is being sexually attracted to someone who is very short. Interestingly, there does not appear to be any term for finding images of very large and very short women having sex appealing.

But there is a subreddit for it named http://www.reddit.com/r/samespecies. Wouldn't you know it, a subreddit would exists for a perversion long before it even had a name? r/samespecies is full of images of very short and very tall women standing next to one another, generally just smiling at a camera, sometimes nude, more often clothed, though there ARE occasionally pics of naked women of different size having sex.

I've found that the Your Fantasies Unlimited format works very well with porn images to create short porn stories and novellas. And I'd like to claim that the Dylan Ryan/Penny Pax image alone was responsible for the plot of “Tiny, Big.” And it is a very evocative image, especially expressions on Penny and Dylan's faces – they really know how to act bondage.

But I have to admit, I had another source of inspiration, the work of the Swedish artist known only on Grigbertz. Here's his website with lots of drawings.  Grigbertz's stories almost always have a theme of short women, often elfin and ALWAYS naked and in bondage, generally with a mythical medieval background. Here's a very nice example of Grigbertz's artwork that fits what I've described.

In one of Grigbertz's storylines, women who don't reach a certain height by age 18 (or whatever the age of consent in Sweden is) are enslaved. The women are standard Grigbertz tinies, and they are enslaved by taller men and women, who molest them, much to everyone's great pleasure, including the tinies.

Well say no more. I didn't exactly copy Grigbertz's mythology, because what fun would that be? And in Grigbertz's case, it would be hard because his text is fragmentary and not well developed, based on what I've seen. Being a writer, I tend more toward text, for whatever reason. And I work out my ideas in greater detail. But Grigbertz's skill in communicating his fantasies with a few pencil lines is not to be ignored.

You can read my precis of my story on my Amazon page, but I have to filter it very heavily for Amazon's sake, plus I have to keep it brief. Here's the full story:

In the magical land of Corliandra, human beings are divided into three different body types: Tinies, three to four feet tall, averaging 3'6”, Normies who run five to 6 and a half feet tall, in short, human beings as we know them on Earth, for the most part, and Bigs, who grow to eight to nine feet tall, averaging eight and a half feet tall. Tinies, Normies and Bigs are not distinct species at all, they can interbreed. Tiny mothers can have Big children, Big mothers can have Tiny children, and the same with Normies. It's just a matter of which genes are dominant, with about one in five humans being Tinies, one in five being Bigs, and three in five being Normies.

All three groups get along together fine, because of the interbreeding. Most families are a mix of Tinies, Normie's and Bigs to one extent or another, especially large families.

This, the protagonist Laura is a Tiny, has a Normie brother, a Tiny mother and a Big father. And the protagonist Gina is a Big, with a Normie brother (just a coincidence) and a Big father and a Tiny mother. Both families are happy and healthy and love one another (though Normie brothers can be annoying, whether you are a Big or a Little).

The fact that both Laura and Gina have Tiny mothers and Big fathers is not coincidence: by tradition from time immemorial, Bigs sexually enslave Tinies when they turn 18. It's not an ironclad thing: sometimes Tinies enslave Bigs and sometimes Normies enslave Bigs, etc. etc. But mostly Bigs enslave Tinies, because that's how most Corliandrans are wired. Literally, they are magically/instinctively compelled to do these things, and to love one another afterward. (God, fantasy makes character-building easy. Why do they do it? Magic!)

The excitement of the action in Corliandra depends on Laura and Gina's relationship, what kind of fun sexual things they get up to and how they respond to them. But there's also the Your Fantasies Unlimited action in the real world. It turns out that things that happen in the fantasy world of Corliandra have some effect in the real world, and gives me some fun playing off my real-world characters against their fantasy world counterparts.

I guess what I'm saying is, get this book, or rent it using Kindle Unlimited (for free, in essence). It's one of my best works ever.

In future posts, I want to talk about how the cover was built, and I also want to talk about how I cast the characters to give them their voice and look. In the meantime, here's da blurb:

Laura was by all accounts the feistiest and talkiest Tiny in her village in the magical land of Corliandra. (But she wasn't the tallest, she was just an average Tiny at 3'6” tall.) And Laura was SURE she would never turn into a simpering love slave like most of the other Tinies did when they turned 18. She would never fall for some beautiful nine foot tall Big, because being a Big's love slave was so wrong, even if everyone else, including her Tiny mother and Big father, assured her that it was so very, very right.

But Tinies, Normies and Bigs all wanted Laura as their love slave, because she had a curvaceous body that along with her passionate personality, set lust lights glimmering in their eyes.

Gina was a Big at 8'6” tall, and she was the most accomplished huntress and archer in the village, and also quite beautiful. She loved to listen to Laura talk (Laura was a great and frequent public speaker). She dreamed of the day she would collar Laura and listen to her talk for hours, generally after Laura had used her tongue in other ways. And unknown to Gina, Laura had eyes for her, perhaps because of the grace with which Gina moved, or her knowing half smile that hinted at a tantalizing world inside Gina's shy exterior.

When Gina makes her move on Laura after she turns 18, Laura discovers the magic of love. Finally, Laura know the joys of being a Tiny love slave, and Gina knows the joys of having a Tiny love slave. And these discoveries may Somehow lead Laura and Gina into a whole new world of erotic possibility, of lesbian bondage, public nudity, erotic dance and bondage orgies, which may Change Everything – even in the real world outside Corliandra!

This novelette is just over 21,000 words long, and is Book Two in the “Your Fantasies Unlimited” series.

WARNING: This books is infested with humor, has a pleasant and fun approach to sex and sexuality, and contains graphic sexual content of the sort that those who enjoy graphic sexual content will enjoy. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

"The Adventures of Jinkie Jenkins: Interstellar Sex Reporter" To Be A Major Motion Picture! From Disney!

I've had to keep this under wraps for a while, but my agent, Pauline Perell, has called and I'm free to Tell All: my novel The Adventures of Jinkie Jenkins: Interstellar Sex Reporter will be made into a major motion picture! By Disney studios of all people!

 It's the story of a virginal young girl from a deeply inhibited planet who gets a job with the "Interstellar Inquirer" the tabloid sleaze paper of record in Earth's intergalactic empire of the future. Forced onto the sex beat by her depraved edito Grabthar Assurilogan (aka "Grab Ass"), Jinkie picks up an older, experienced slavegirl ("hotmeat") who shows Jinkie the ropes and the chains and the nipple clips as they travel throughout the galaxy, moving from one depraved hellhole to another and writing it up for the "Inquirer" while she secretly searches for the space pirates who stole the planet Alderan.

  With the success of Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel, Disney is hot to get into the female superhero market, and although Jinkie is no superhero, she IS in outer space and has all sorts of adventures, which was close enough for Disney. Especially since, with the success of Fifty Shades of Gray, Disney is sure that a strong female heroine who is also heavily into kinky sex will be their ticket to success, and since they don't own Wonder Woman, they were drooling for Jinkie like they were wearing ball gags, according to my agent.

Casting is even now underway but some earlier speculations may not bear out with Meryl Streep, Lindsay Lohan, Wenona, Queen Latifa, Halle Berry, Jennifer Lawrence, Kristen Stewart and many, many others vying for the role of Jinkie Jenkins and Christina Carter, Justine Jolie, Penny Pax, Wenona and Phoenix Marie vying for the role of hotmeat. Vying for the hunky male lead role of John Quill are Chris Helmsworth, Chris Pine, Chris Pratt and Chris Kattan.

I've been informed that Disney has requested a few script changes but they are minor things that shouldn't affect the message, tone and style of the story, I am assured. Jinkie Jenkins will be an interstellar bounty hunter who is also an escaped slavegirl. Hotmeat will be a wisecracking barrista in an intergalactic coffee shop, and John Quill will be a loose cannon of an intergalactic cop who makes his own rules and breaks them, too! And almost all of the movie will take place in the coffee shop, and will be about decoding a mysterious message from an office slave about a popular children's cereal. So, pretty much the same story.

And I just have to let this tidbit out: My novel President Slavegirl is in development in a major motion picture studio as well (can't spill the beans on which one or we get locked in the Magic Castle with Tim Powers!). My agent tells me that when movie execs are told there's a scene where a female President of the United States is put on a rape rack and forced to give a Wall Street tycoon a blowjob while her mocks her as an idiot for not following the Rules of Money, they go wild. It's a lock!

Campus Slut Run: A Kinky Sex Romp

Click here to go get the story

It's Spring, and the Campus Sluts Are Stripping Naked, Putting On Their Free Use Collars and Running Around Campus, Ready To Be Grabbed, Tied Down and Fucked By Any Man That Can Catch Them! And Boy Do They Get Chased! But If They Get Inside A Building, They're Safe ... Poor Things!

That's the basic concept of a campus slut run, and what fun I have with it! It's just a spring short story, and it's just 99 cents if you buy, free on Kindle Unlimited. Enjoy!

And if you want to know what inspired me to write the story, well, there's a reason my protagonist is named "Michelle"

Office Slave: In the Future, Work Will Be Sexy, Kinky and Fun! Available on Amazon.

Click here to get this book on Amazon via my Inernational Bookstore site.

Da Blurb! It's the future. Robots have taken all the jobs. Everyone still alive after the civil wars that happened as a result of that lives on Basic Income. They do not work, and their lives are an endless party, or an endless pursuit of their dreams, hobbies and ambitions. Nobody has to do anything just to survive.

Still, some corporations do need human beings to work for them, if only to provide human input on their products and services. Thunder Muffin Corporation is one such corporation. So how does a corporation attract human beings away from their endless parties and make them care about the WEINUS? Or the VEINUS? Or the heinous ANNUS? By making work MORE FUN than FUN, that's how.

And that's why Jenny became a corporate slave girl for Thunder Muffin Corporation, the lowest, humblest job the corporation had to offer, even lower than being an intern, and just as unpaid! But if you think being a corporate slave girl is endless drudgery, that's where you're wrong. Drudgery is for robots! Slave girls are for sexy, kinky sex games, an important part of keeping any corporation humming along smoothly.

There will be much fun had in break rooms, in hallways, in deserted meeting rooms, and in crowded workrooms, including but not limited to the slave girl bouncy ball bondage race! Plus a mysterious message, corporate insider info and skullduggery, and a heaping helping of BDSM whatnot! If you're up for some upbeat, kinky fun, set your brain on robot cruise control and enjoy this ride.

 This story is just over 15,500 words long and is part of the Basic Income universe.

Get Witless On Lothar!

Get Witless or Be Witty ... It's YOUR Choice! Image source: Hottitude Press.

OK, fans of my adult website Bondagerotica (Google it, I'm not doing any direct links from my wholesome author blog) will remember that I did a series called "Witless on Lothar" way back when, and I realized that I could easily collect them and put them in book form for sale on Amazon, so i did. And when I finished, I realized, "This is not erotica, there's only two sex scenes and they're only a few paragraphs long."

What they were, actually, was political satire. It was all about the contrast between the protagonists (political pundit Anne Coaltar) highly politicized view of the world and the barbaric (and really dumb and unbelievable) reality of Gor. Then former presidential candidate Hilarity Clanton winds up being First Girl in the slave kennels where Anne winds up, because "Duh!"

It was so much fun to write. I'm hoping it will be as much fun for others to read.

Here's the blurb:

When political pundit Anne Coaltar wakes up on a strange new world naked and chained to a huge rock after what must have been a hell of a party, she naturally assumes it's a practical joke. Or perhaps that it's one of those dreams where you think you are awake but really are not. But when she's accosted by hard-looking alpha males who look like they stepped out of a Renfair and subjected to indignities that outstrip ANYTHING she had ever suffered at the hands of even the most rabid democrat, Anne realizes this MIGHT be more than a joke, or a dream. If it is a dream, it is a very NAUGHTY dream.

But this is just the BEGINNING for Anne, as she's drawn farther and farther into this dream, or world, or most likely, democratic plot to discredit her. Anne winds up in a slave kennel and discovers that her superior in the slave kennel hierarchy is none other than Hilarity Clanton, her greatest enemy and candidate for the US Presidency!

It it all a dream, a subconscious demon brew of repressed lust and desire that runs counter to Anne's every conservative desire? Is it a democratic plot to discredit Anne? Or is it a science fiction reality that has launched her across the stars only to be confronted with something out of a medieval fantasy?

Find out as you explore the world of the Witless On Lothar!