Pantisoka Thongo & The Slavers of Alsoran Now on Sale on Smashwords

Book is available on Smashwords right here.

 

Welcome to “Slavers of Alsoran,” probably the most self-important erotic parody of St@r W@rs ever written. But it also ruins other important science fiction franchises such as Foundation, Doctor Who, Star Trek, Superman, the Culture, Ringworld, Dune, Barbarella, UFO, and Avatar. It also also ruins some REALLY weird things like A Mighty Wind, Support Your Local Gunfighter, A Prairie Home Companion and your childhood. It’s got something to offend EVERYONE. In fact, it was named 2023’s Most Legally Actionable Novella by the Shyster Chamber of Commerce.

In “Slavers of Alsoran” Pantisoka “Panti” Thongo, a secret agent for Bela Orgazmo, is home on Planet Alsoran from a tough mission. All she wants to do is go to her favorite kinky club and get her brains Mastered out. And sure enough, Panti’s sub friends at the club point out a handsome Master with crinkly brown eyes and a chin you could pound nails with, who really knows his way around a dungeon. But Gai Nwar is a little TOO smooth in Panti’s opinion. He COULD just be a guy with a thing for Rootugas. Such men weren’t rare, since Rootuga females were the only humanoid species known to have evolved the oral clit.

But Gai might also be a lureman with a shopping list. Evil harem owners on the crapsack worlds that fringed the Galactic Umpire also had a thing for Rootugas.

The voluntary slavegirls (as sexual submissives were called on crapsack worlds) didn’t have to be dragged kicking and screaming into their lairs, making them prizes for slavers. And that made Rootuga voluntary slavegirls like Panti super ultimate mega grand supreme prizes for slavers.

Gai might even be an agent for the evil shith lord Dearth Bother, a charred piece of bacon that had once been a juicy hamhock of a man, now bent on destroying all former Jiggli knights. The evening promises a night of sweet sex and submission with handsome, dominant Gai, or perhaps it will be a night of carving up slavers and shith lords with her twin light scimitars. Panti is ready for anything, because she’s just that kind of heroic slavegirl! Read this 33,000 word novella now and enjoy the filth and the fun that has made BDSM sci-fi erotic parody America’s most beloved sub genre!

Star Treque: Attack of the Kinky Slave Girls! -- An Erotic Parody (Collar World Book 6) Now On Amazon

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I enjoyed parodying "Late Night On Onion Station" so I thought I'd give parody another shot, this time a SLIGHTLY better-known property, "Star Trek." I'm a fan, watched TOS, the Next Generation and some episode of Voyager and Enterprise, as well as all of the movies. I even married a woman who went to Dragoncon wearing a tribble suit. I didn't marry her FOR that reason, but it should be noted that it didn't deter me in the slightest, in fact, it was cool to me.

So I felt fully qualified to parody Star Trek. I decided to base my parody on TOS, because let's face it, there's a LOT of room for parody there. Most especially sexual parody, since The Original Series was an unreconstructed product of the sixties, with Captain Kirk jumping on any green-skinned alien woman he can find and Lt. Baskethead (I mean, Rand) sexing up the show for no particular reason, a task soon taken over by Nichelle Nichols.

I didn't entirely confine myself to TOS characters, I included Lieutenant Worf (Lt. Rorf Woof in my story) from Next Generation mainly because I was going to have Klingons, too, and he would come in handy for several reasons.

For the same reason, I had an Orion slave girl ("Aurion" in my story) as a cultural attache on the crew, helping integrate the Orions into the Federation, or as I called it, the Agglomeration. Encountering the Empire of the Collar (essentially, Collar World in space with gigantic men, because why the hell not?) the Participation Prize crew would naturally call on an Aurion slave girl for advice on how to deal with such a sexy menace.

Especially since the Empire of the Collar is technologically far in advance of both the Agglomeration and the Klingons (“Klaxons” in my story). It would have made an interesting story for Star Trek, except of course that Star Trek would never have been sex-positive and kink-positive.

And of course, being an erotic parody I was free to follow the sexiest, kinkiest elements of the story as far as I wanted to, which was very far, indeed. And I did not neglect the humor either, I had a LOT of fun with story and characters.

It's a shame media Trek could never follow where I have gone before. I've been to science fiction conventions, I've SEEN what the fan base gets up to, left on their own. They would have loved it. In the meantime, there's my parody, I'm hoping fans will love it. Maybe you will, too. Either way, live long and pump her.